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I recently wrote a chapter in a book called Power to Change.  It includes my chapter - 5 P's to Making Life Enhancing Changes as well as chapters from 18 other experts in various modalities of creating change. 

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« A live, furry example of unconditional love! | Main | Practicing Acceptance »
Saturday
Jul042015

Perfect Imperfections

Last time I talked about letting go and surrendering as a way to position yourself to receive the guidance and answers you may need to move forward or overcome a difficult challenge.  Today I want to introduce the notion of perfect imperfections.  I often hear parents talking about their children and how they wish they would be…. more outgoing, more motivated, more confident etc.   Or people often wish that their spouse or siblings were more supportive or more like how they think they should be.  Well I love transferring the notion of complete acceptance to relationships.  Especially in the case of children, acceptance of a child just as they are is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give.
 
You may be thinking, yes but what if they really are lazy or rude, how can I support that behaviour? Well the idea of perfect imperfections means that whatever someone is challenged with (it may be a lack of confidence or motivation in the case of the child or frustration and anger in the case of the parent) is exactly what they need in their life at that moment to help them grow and evolve. If a parent needs to become more patient, the Universe will give them situations where they can practice patience!  That is why the people who drive us crazy can also be our greatest teachers if we are open to, and focus on, the lesson and not on changing the person. 
 
So in this example, the child may be need to learn to communicate their fears or lack of confidence.  Maybe the issue is not that they are lazy but they don’t know where to turn or what to do next.  For the parents, the learning may be around acceptance, patience and creating an environment where the child feels free to speak their truth without being judged. 
 
Whatever the issue may be, try planting the seed that what you see as an imperfection in someone may ignite in you just what you need to work on (ex. being more compassionate or patient instead of angry).  Also, completely accepting someone as they are may allow them to drop their need to defend themselves and instead help them shift to exploring what their real or underlying issue may be. 
 
So I invite you to pick a situation in your life and see if you can see someone else’s perfect imperfections in a new way and practice the idea of total acceptance – you may just find that is works like magic!


Jackie

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